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Category Archives: Bahasa Indonesia

Awal Mula, Akhirul Kalam

… bukankah pada akhirnya, bahagia yang tak terbatas adalah rasa bahagia melihat orang lain bahagia, meski kita merana?

… bukankah cinta yang tak tertuturkan dalam lisan jauh lebih mengendap dalam pikiran dan perasaan?

… bukankah tindakan yang berlebih hanya akan membuat kita menjejak di ruang semu angkasa?

… bukankah nalar yang tak terasah menuntun kita pada angan tanpa landasan?

… bukankah hati selalu terdiam saat bersirobok dengan orang yang tepat?

… bukankah kisah hidup selalu dimulai dengan tangisan yang berbalut tawa, meskipun diakhiri dengan senyum bijak yang bermakna?

… bukankah waktu pasti membiarkan dan membiasakan kita bertahan hidup?

… bukankah lamunan pasti akan terusik sebelum jatuh menjadi buaian?

… bukankah kita selalu mencari alasan agar berhenti menggunakan akal pikiran?

… bukankah pada awalnya, kita hanya ingin merasa bahagia, apapun itu resikonya?

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Memaafkan Diri Sendiri

Setiap tanggal 1 Ramadhan dan 1 Syawal, ada pertanyaan yang selalu mengusik saya: apakah kita sudah memaafkan diri sendiri, sebelum memaafkan orang lain?

Apakah setiap ucapan “maaf lahir batin” yang kita ucapkan ke orang lain adalah pernyataan maaf yang tulus keluar dari hati, dan bukan sekedar basa-basi?
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Catatan Kecil

Akhir pekan lalu, seusai pesta pernikahan sahabat, saya dan beberapa teman terlibat percakapan menarik.
Di tengah beberapa orang menghapus riasan muka, ganti baju dan sekedar bersantai tengah malam, seorang teman bilang,

“I don’t believe if there’s anyone says “I don’t care about your past, because I only believe in our future!”
To me, when I meet someone, when I make a relationship with someone, I have to know what makes this person who she really is. And a person is defined by her past! I just need to know their past, that’s all. Then I’ll figure out how to deal with that person.”

Kata-kata ini, berikut gaya pengucapan teman saya yang sangat hidup, sudah sukses menyentil saya.
Kebetulan saya pernah menulis sesuatu tentang “investing in your future, rather than dwelling on your past”. Ternyata saya lupa, bahwa bagaimana kita sekarang adalah hasil tempaan masa lalu kita, baik itu mulai dari kecil, remaja, menjadi mahasiswa, atau hasil masa lalu kita dalam hitungan beberapa jam yang lalu.

Saya adalah bentukan mantan-mantan pacar saya.
Selama menjalin hubungan dengan mereka, ada proses belajar dalam diri setiap berinteraksi dengan mereka. Saya merasakan sendiri perubahan dalam bersikap, bertindak, melihat permasalahan, yang sangat mungkin ada sedikit pengaruh atau warisan karakter dari mereka. Mungkin karena itulah saya sempat limbung ketika kehilangan pegangan saat semua hubungan itu berakhir.

Namun saya sadar, bahwa saya tidak boleh mengagungkan masa lalu. Toh mereka yang pernah singgah dan menjadi fokus hari-hari saya tidak akan kembali juga.
Tetapi bagi siapapun yang sedang mencoba hadir, atau akan hadir, mengisi hari-hari dan hati saya, mari kita telaah pelan-pelan.

Saya ada dengan membawa resapan masa lalu saya. Demikian pula dengan kamu.
Semua persamaan dan perbedaan yang ada, mari kita omongkan.
Kalau kamu adalah yang terbaik untuk saya, demikian pula kalau kamu merasakan hal yang sama, maka kita tinggal deal dengan takdir.
Selebihnya, saya lebih suka menjalani apa adanya.

Yang jelas, saya sadar bahwa dalam kehidupan nyata, proses penghapusan memori seperti dalam film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind tidak akan pernah terjadi.
Rasa sakit, senang, pedih, gembira tentang masa lalu yang hadir dalam kehidupan saya di masa sekarang, semuanya adalah bagian yang tidak mungkin hilang.

Dalam keadaan apapun, saya harus terus bernafas, make a living dan melanjutkan hidup, yang semoga bisa jadi lebih baik.

Saya ingin punya kisah survival saya tersendiri.
Saya bukan teman-teman saya, yang saya kagumi, yang kisah pertahanan hidupnya acap kali membuat saya merasa belum menjadi apa-apa. Untuk itulah saya mengagumi mereka.

Dan untuk itulah saya harus meyakinkan diri bahwa saya akan terus baik-baik saja, meskipun keyakinan itu harus keluar dari mata yang berkaca-kaca dan helaan nafas yang berat.

“Because life goes on, dear.”

 
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Posted by on 09/29/2012 in Bahasa Indonesia

 

On the last day of fasting month

Jakarta, 18 Agustus 2012.

Hari ini adalah hari terakhir puasa Ramadhan 1433 Hijriah.

Sebelum tangan ini mulai membuka laptop untuk menulis blog entry ini, tiba-tiba pikiran saya melayang pada awal Ramadhan tiga tahun lalu.
Di hari pertama puasa itu, tanpa saya sadari tiba-tiba saya menangis. Bukan menangis keras dengan jeritan dan sedu sedan, tetapi menangis dengan rembesan air mata pelan-pelan mengalir di pipi tanpa saya sedari, sebelum pelan-pelan terisak lirih.
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Posted by on 08/18/2012 in Bahasa Indonesia

 

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Peas (or my Valentine’s Day post)

Perfection. It is never overrated, for it is something we aim, albeit we can never achieve.

Patience. It is something of a challenge, for it bounds us to limitless options, ones that take us to wonders.

Pamper. It is expected when you are about to call it a day to ensure you have a good night sleep.

Planning. It is not easy, with your unexpected overtime schedule, and my unpredicted work.

Playlist. It is playable anytime you feel like filling the air with the songs I choose for you.

Praying. It is what we often do, especially when each of us start feeling ill.

Please. It is seldom said, but we know that deep down, that’s what we want to do to each other.

Peace. It is felt in silence as we don’t really acknowledge it, not with your constant chattering from A to Z to A again.

Presence. It is getting difficult to have, but let’s not give up.

Present. It is the time I feel happy the most with you around.

Perfect. It is what we are together.

Courtesy of elle.com

 
 

#movieandme – What’s The First Film You Watched in Cinema?

More than any other time in my life, as long as I can remember, last year seemed to be the time I was drawn to filmgoing experience the most.

I can’t explain why. Perhaps it was the constant worry on the dearth of cinema during our ‘cinema-blackout’ period, which I had repeatedly written, the latest being my kaleidoscopic article here.

But beyond the unfortunate incident, somehow it has always been “planted” in me that the best medium to watch film is in cinema.
There is something magical about sitting in a darkened hall, waiting for flickering lights to turn into escapism world of images and words, where we surrender ourselves and reality surround us for a good two hour or so.

If you find those words familiar, that’s because most of the entries in the blog revolve around the topic. In fact, my life does, too. Or so I made it to be.

When I spent my year-end holiday in my hometown, I watched Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol in nearby cinema. It was a full-house session, despite no advanced sound system. Yet, the packed crowd shrieked and clenched their fists on their seats altogether when Tom Cruise climbed Burj Khalifa, holding their breaths anticipating the suspense and the thrill of that scene. As I sat on top rows, I could see clearly the collective movement, and it was such a joy, such an unbelievable sight at this time!

I still could not believe my eyes even when I reached home.
And as I looked around my room, tons of VCDs I collected when I was in college were stacked on shelves, collecting thick dust and zero care.
Having nothing to do during the holiday, and being thankful for relatively smooth Internet connection, I thought of VCDs giveaway via Twitter. One cannot live without twitting, right?

Three of five Video CDs (VCDs) for my #movieandme giveaway

Thus, on the last day of 2011, either most people at their utmost relaxing mood or busy preparing for parties later, I asked my timeline:

Do you remember the very first film you watched in cinema?

Using hash-tag #movieandme suddenly answers started pouring in. What supposed to be film title turned out to be recollection of memories: when they watched the film, where (and many cinemas that are no longer present), and with whom they watched the film.
These answers still strike my emotions as I am re-reading them now.

What intrigues me most from this collective memory is how our childhood revolved around cinema, one part or another. Many of us were either going with parents, friends from school or relatives, and the choices, as you can see below, are mind-blowing!
Who would’ve thought that our past cinematic treasure could be this rich?

And look at how diverse the location is! Wherever you spent your childhood, cinema was around to lure you in, and good time was abound.

Guess a saying that goes “everybody must have a certain memory about cinema” is true.

While reading these #movieandme entries, can I ask you: what’s your very first film you watch in cinema?

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This Is Not A Love Letter

Dearest,

I am writing this letter to you, without a slight of hope that you’ll read it.

Why?

Because you don’t and won’t even know that the letter is intended to you, after all.

You may think that I randomly write words for random beings, as I always do.

“That’s so you,” that’s how you’ve told me all this time.

Within the same amount of time, I’ve always smiled and nodded back at you in acknowledgment.

Within the same amount of time, you’ve always carried on saying other things. They may range from A to Z, but eventually they unveil the same thing: you.

Yes, through the carefully chosen words and long-processed thoughts, you unravel yourself.

It takes time, indeed, to get the meaning of what you’ve said.

For what I realize, I may never know what you mean after all.

Dearest,

That’s what I intend to do.

I want you to come to me revealing your work problems at the end of a hard day’s work.

I can’t promise solutions. I only promise lending my ears and distancing myself away from our smart-phones.

I want you to keep solving the world’s problems, and I’ll take care of the rest.

I want you to be real, because I’ve been living with the idealized version of you in my mind.

I want you to realize that you matter most to one other extra person besides yourself.

I want you to share your silliest jokes, pranks, thoughts, or anything that even you can’t help smiling in saying those.

Because when you smile, we smile.

And I don’t want you to be mine.

You are what you are: the beautiful and beloved you. That’s how I always like about you.

Do you?

 
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Posted by on 01/22/2011 in Bahasa Indonesia, Personal