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Something’s Missing

I miss falling in love.

I miss smiling as I am gazing.
I miss making playlist of songs, since every song is about our fantastical fantasy relationship.
I miss daydreaming, imagining and eventually thinking ahead of every possible scenario.

I miss falling in love.

I miss the joy out of living.
I miss the happiness it brings.
I miss the thrill it seeks.
I miss the anticipation out of unthinkable possibilities.

I miss falling in love.

I miss the beat of my heart that drums when you pass.
I miss the sigh of relief when you miss my glance.
I miss the whisper of my own wish when you stand in distance.
I miss the pray quietly uttered when you may or may not be there.
I miss the wetness of my eyes from too much smiling when you step in to my mind.

I miss falling in love.

I miss seeing your flaws as flawless.
I miss seeing your imperfection as perfection.
I miss seeing your scars as beauties.
I miss feeling your quietness loud.
I miss feeling your silence deafening.
I miss feeling your mere presence larger than life.

I miss falling in love.

Because I miss living life.

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Posted by on 09/06/2015 in Blog, English, Personal

 

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A Talk About Love

A Talk About Love

“I’m falling in love. It’s nothing new.”

“It is new! Every time you fall in love, it’s always a new experience. Nothing, none of your previous relationships are alike. Well … The objects may be similar, like they are all … what, tall, smart, and beautiful?”

(Chuckles)

“Who’s the lucky one?”

“Someone I met a few months ago, actually, when I was on a business trip. Nothing happened. We had a business meeting, had a group lunch, and that’s it. Then a few weeks after that, we met again, online, followed each other.”

“Then?”

“We met up for lunch. We talked. We met again. We laughed.”

“Laugh? Wow.”

“Yeah. It’s okay to laugh, right?”

“Okay? Beat me! Anyone who can make us laugh on dates, boy, that’s a keeper!”

“Exactly! I mean, you know what I do for living …”

“Tell me about it! Putting on mask of anyone but yourself, fake smile, be charming and charismatic till you sweat …”

“You make me look bad!”

“Hahaha. I am your best friend, and what am I but only being honest with you? But what I’m trying to say is, it’s good to be with someone who can make you be who you really are. You know what I’m saying? Imagine how tiring it must be if you have to charm the other person, one person, sitting right in front of you, for hours. You’re not selling insurance for God’s sake …”

“… but I’m talking into building the future together. Just the two of us.”

“You’re … what?”

“Like what you said, anyone who can make you laugh and feel good about yourself is a keeper.”

“Isn’t this too soon? Are you running out of time?”

“When you know you have found the one, you just know. Can I put the feeling in words? No. Can I feel it? Yes.”

(Silence)

“What did you wear on that second lunch?”

“My loose white T-shirt that you hate, with bermuda and slippers. Hahaha!”

“And look at that! Mr. Dress-to-Impress actually dressed down to … Express himself?”

“It was a Sunday, we had no plan to meet, I was doing a marathon, urm, I mean, watching Friends …”

“Ah! I knew it! Which season?”

“Guess this: The One Where Everyone Finds Out.”

“Season 5! The best! Ok, then?”

“Then came a message alert on Path …”

“You shared Path already?”

“When you know, you know.”

“Okay. Then?”

“Then we asked each other what to eat, only to realize we hadn’t eaten, then we met up for lunch. That’s all.”

“Was it a success? The lunch? With the dress down part?”

“You heard me. We laughed.”

“I see.”

(Quietness.)

“My turn. What’s new with you?”

“I’m falling out of love.”

“Oh? Oh, no.”

“It’s nothing new.”

“How come?”

“You fall in love, you fall out of love. When you run out steam, you stop moving. We hardly laugh, let alone love. We make love, but it was never with love.”

“Ouch.”

“It didn’t hurt, actually, this break-up. Or maybe it did, but I didn’t realize. Keeping myself busy, I guess that’s why it didn’t feel bad. Or maybe it was the full cycle like what people say.”

“What?”

“All’s well ends well. I started the relationship with smile. Somehow, I force myself to smile when it ended. Crazy, but I did.
I’m falling out of love. It’s nothing new.”

“It is new! Every time you fall out love, you will always find a new side of you buried throughout the course of relationship. Nothing, none of your previous break-ups are alike.”

(Deep sigh)

“Love. You step into a new, unfamiliar territory, only to come out of it as a brand new person.”

“Exactly.”

 
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Posted by on 05/29/2014 in Blog, English, Personal

 

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A Conversation on a Cafe in One Night

“I’m falling in love. It’s nothing new.”

“It is new! Every time you fall in love, it’s always a new experience. Nothing, none of your previous relationships are alike. Well … The objects may be similar, like they are all … what, tall, smart, and beautiful?”

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Posted by on 09/26/2013 in Blog, English, Personal

 

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