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Words fail me. But without words, what am I?

/film review/ Aviator, The

Glossy! Glitzy!

Those are two words that kept popping inside my head upon walking out of the theatre where I watched this tale of Howard Hughes, one of the greatest, or perhaps the most eccentric men who marked his presence in film industry and aviation field like no other tycoons have ever done. As loaded with larger-than-life images and stories, somehow the plane that I boarded in this film never really took off.

In his latest ambitious effort to capture Best Director prize in Academy Awards, Martin Scorsese tried to put his hand in making another biopic this time, in a scope of epic scale that he has recently indulged himself in to, with the likes of Gangs of New York or recalling a decade earlier, The Age of Innocence. THE AVIATOR focuses on the time span of early to mid 20th century, the time when Howard Hughes name would guarantee admirations and smirks at the same note, just as eccentric as his behavior can be, the name itself similar to the word controversy spelt all around his presence. From a movie-mogul to planes-obsessed person, from Katharine Hepburn to Ava Gardner to numerous starlets, Howards Hughes’ story is the story Hollywood filmmakers are dying to have, as rich as films that Hughes himself might direct or produce.

Yet, as any epics that look splendid on the surface, so does the film.

Scorsese painstakingly put an extra effort in recreating certain looks that he wanted to achieve by using different degrees of color associated to the ‘film-look’ of the era in which any particular part of the story took place, gradually emerged into a more natural look towards the end of the film. Such a pleasant viewing for the eyes, and apparently those external elements of tuneful music, exhilarating set designs and costume design did not help elevating this film to a higher level where I don’t need to wander my mind away for almost three-hour duration.

Which would lead us thinking: what is wrong with the story?

As the film itself was meant to be a tribute to celebrate Hughes remarkable achievement in his peak period of time, which is why the timeline would only stretch from mid 1920s to 1950s, the story seems to be drifting apart in between glorifying his fame to retelling his private live which differ in a great contrast from one another. Certainly John Logan had to bear a difficult task in merging these two, not to mention that the script itself has been tossed around for years in development, suspiciously resulting in catharsis of mediating between the two, leaving different stories stand on their own.

The only thing that is able to keep me glued to my seat is the eclectic performance delivered by Cate Blanchett in her perfect-pitched impersonation as Katharine Hepburn. Not merely mimicking her accent or gesture, Blanchett went to the extent that she imbued the Hepburn persona within herself, so much so that while we could still see Blanchett on the screen without any exaggerated prosthetic makeup, we are taken to the state of believability that the soul of Hepburn was present in the film, thanks to Blanchett decision to play her character from within, and Hepburn’s over-the-top gestures were convincingly and vividly portrayed as if Blanchett has forever donned this role to her own character for a long time.

However, the same cannot be said to Leonardo DiCaprio who tries too hard to capture the eccentricity of Hughes by risking himself to certain unnecessary acts, only show to us that DiCaprio himself has not been able to shake off his own image as a dashing young actor in delivering the role. Looking at him in the big screen, one may not help wondering if Hughes did really raise his eyebrows all the time, or how unconvincing it is to see him alongside the grand presence of Blanchett as Hepburn. It does not help either when he bared himself on the screen to show Hughes’s near-madness mental situation, or his smirk face shown when he got obsessed with cleanliness to the extreme. Call it a curse of his handsome feature, yet DiCaprio fails to bring out Hughes’s eccentricity to convincing performance.

Whereas many people praise this film as the most accessible Scorsese film which he made this as a ‘less-personal’ work, on the other hand I find that decision is regretted as the whole film itself is buried under the applaudable gorgeous presentation. Surely, with all the rising hype and the buzz of the film being one of the best, I could only scratch my head and whispering to myself: One of the most over-rated films ever.

 
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Posted by on 02/20/2005 in English, Film

 

Leftovers.

(on Yoshinoya)

an afternoon unlike any other
where we sat across each other
indulging in satisfying the hunger
of warm and tender

a place of coldness
teens at their madness
yet we just create this space
that could be perfectly understood
through some miso soup and two bowls of rice

i captured many angles of an angel.

(on Yoshinoya – another side)

there it was
on a packed Saturday afternoon
you sat there at ease with yourself
contented, confident, comforting

as i gaze my thoughts channeled to you
to hope that you would comprehend
and ask no more
about how one longs to replace his bolster

twinnie!
i crave over this craze

(on Starbucks)

an overtly crowded cafe
yet we managed to sneak
into a zone of temporary comfort

a nite filled with air of reds
and sparks of oranges
i pay my respect

to the surroundings
to the soul

who sails away on his own
who stands up on his thoughts
who prevails, who whispers, who loves

whose laughter injects vibrancy
whose silence commands attention
whose being melts one’s cold-hearted emotions
and slip off my feet

who loves the life and all of its fullest.

(on Coffee Club)

mornings we made love
afternoons we made friends
or simply we made entrances to each other’s life
in more intimate ways

like that one sunny day
such a rarity to see the windy friendly breeze of air
perfectly captured and lifted up the whole mood
of talks
of laughs
of smirks
of bitchings
of gossipings
of comforts
and of love shared among others

it’s just an overture

 
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Posted by on 02/19/2005 in English

 

/film review/ Million Dollar Baby

Like a fight, teardrops do fall, blood does burst out, sweat does drop, people do yell, shout and clap. Yet, like a fight, concentration is needed to win. Focusing on your inner strength would help you soar. And there is this huge amount of intensed feeling one can not escape.

MILLION DOLLAR BABY kicks around a classical rags-to-riches fairy tale of one’s determination towards her passion to do what she likes to do, and indeed, prevails to success and stardom. The object of this story centers on Maggie Fitzgerald, a forever-being-waitress woman at her mid-30s who long for a break out of her horrenduous life and found her oasis in boxing. When she sneaks herself in a boxing gym owned by Frankie Dunn, a retired athlete himself, and taken care of by his faithful friend, Eddie Scrap, she is merely being seen as a girl trying to do the impossible. Yet, her persistence wins over Frankie’s ego to train her and launch her professional career into a sensational and phenomenal boxer. However, one occurence would change both their lives in an unexpected way.

You don’t want me to reveal the big surprise, do you?

Then keep yourself seated well and just bear the first 30 minute or so if you find the scenes are a bit lengthy to concentrate on, for the real story begins to build up afterwards, with painfully real fighting scenes shown throughout. However, the power of this film lies mostly on the intensity built between the characters and the settings they are in.

And this is what Clint Eastwood has always done his best: intensity.
Intensed performances from his actors in portraying emotional conflicts within their characters, as captured vividly throughout his films, ranging from bravura performance of Forest Whitaker in Bird, to all-human like character of Gene Hackman in Unforgiven, to sensitivity portrayed by Meryl Streep in The Bridges of Madison County, to brooding Sean Penn does his career best in Mystic River, and the baby herself Hilary Swank who throws herself into complexity portraying the progress of an all woman from desperation to over-joyedness and plunge into falldown all over again. Swank does a justice to this series of great performances of actors in Eastwood’s films and obediently obeying the rules subconsciously set here: no over-the-top dramatic acting style needed, and the intensity of performances needs not be following a certain infamous ‘method’ either. As Maggie, who shifts dramatically from a mere waitress to a boxing star, Swank smoothly plays the character in her own way that eventhough we may not be able to see her immensely becoming Maggie Fitzgerald, unlike the way she magically did with her Brandon Teena in Boys Don’t Cry, we are unable to resist the feeling of being moved and admire this hard-willed character who does not stop fighting until the end of the story. Note how I choose not to use the word ‘symphatize’ here to describe our emotive feeling towards the central character here, as Eastwood aptly decides to portray Maggie in a plain-Jane manner, we can still see her flaws, her naivety and innocence which all make her simply human.

Second intensity that Eastwood excels in doing is, obviously, the intensed story of the film itself, that allows a certain decisive manner in how he wishes to present his film to be, and within the intensity of the story, we are able to see characters’ development that is very focused to suit the whole atmosphere of the film. Most of the times, we are taken into stillness of statutory presence of Freeman and Eastwood who command the scenes whenever they are in, and in the quietness, they deliver the subtext lines that serve well in drawing our attention deeper to the story.
In addition, haunting scores done by Eastwood himself in the tradition of similar simplistic music concept he did earlier in Madison County and Mystic River, gives an enhancement of moody atmosphere suited well to the whole context of this film.

As such, Eastwood prove himself to be alive and kicking hard by delivering this powerful film that punches hard in silence. Among the crowds of brainless, sound/visual effects-maddening trash, Million slips quietly and win over our hearts for its sincerity, plainness frank of storytelling that seems to be a rarity these days.

 
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Posted by on 02/17/2005 in English, Film

 

emERgency

You see, I don’t really proclaim myself as a TV-junkie like Tobi or perhaps anyone else who can indulge in front of that goggle box. Pretty much my interest on TV has diminished along with the passing of those digestive comedy series, particularly Friends and Sex and the City, the only two series in which you can consider myself as a faithful follower. Well, there is Will & Grace that still gives me good, spontaneous laugh, yet I still can’t really commit some half-an-hour spare time in a day to sit properly and indulge in the world of wackiness from those foursome.

Tapi malem ini, setelah bermaksud sekedar leyeh-leyeh di kasur sambil flipping through TV channels, akhirnya aku terpaku dan ngga ganti-ganti Channel 5 yang ternyata tiap Rabu malem muter salah satu drama televisi, yang IMHO (in my honest opinion), adalah salah satu drama televisi terbaik yang setelah masuk hitungan satu dekade lebih, tetep bisa mempertahankan kualitas cerita. Setiap minggunya. Setiap ganti musim atau season nya.

The faithful medical drama goes by the name of E.R..

Seperti layaknya Friends juga, malem ini aku baru nyadar kalo beberapa tahun terakhir ini aku tumbuh dan berkembang bersama film seri E.R. ini. Walaupun ngga ngikutin tiap minggunya, tapi suasana rumah sakit umum di Boston (ato Chicago yah, walaupun cuman bikinan studio ini juga!) yang selalu berantakan dan rame ama pasien-pasien dari kalangan menengah ke bawah, demikian juga ama dokter-dokternya yang cekatan meskipun hidup pas-pasan dengan segala intrik kehidupan pribadi mereka, sempet membuat aku kepengen jadi dokter beneran! Apa daya, nilai Biologi pas-pasan, dan don’t even start on Kimia apalagi Fisika! Hahahaha!
Yah, nasib emang ga ngijinin saya jadi dokter beneran, tapi kalo jadi dokter di serial tipi, mungkin masih ada kesempatan *dreamy mode on*.

Balik lagi ke E.R., satu hal yang bikin kita, ato tepatnya saya, sempat ketagihan nonton serial ini, mungkin karena Michael Crichton (idolanya mas Q ini) sangat tau dan teliti waktu nulis karakter masing-masing, yang dibikin sedetail mungkin dengan segala permasalahan hidup mereka yang koq kayanya kerasa nyambung ama penonton. Apalagi being underpaid and overworked macam dokter-dokter ini, tentunya emang achingly real buat kaum pekerja, macem saya mungkin? *menguik diri sendiri mode on*.
Yang jelas, meskipun George Clooney ama Julianna Margulies sudah pergi, demikian juga ama si botak Anthony Edwards yang kematiannya sempet bikin penonton televisi di Amrik mengharu biru, cerita perjuangan dokter-dokter ini ngga pernah mati. Ada Noah Wyle yang dulu pernah make obat-obatan sampe sekarang bisa sembuh lagi, Maura Tierney yang selalu bermasalah ama ibunya, Ming-Na yang jadi single mother dari hasil hubungannya dengan seorang pria Afrika-Amerika, masih ada Goran Visnjic, Laura Innes, dan tentunya para bintang tamu yang selalu ga jadi tukang numpang lewat doang seperti di kebanyakan sitkom, tapi kehadiran William H. Macy atau Don Cheadle sekarang selalu bisa diintegrasikan dengan baik ke dalam cerita.

Akhirnya, dokter-dokter ini emang ngga selalu berhasil nyelametin nyawa para pasiennya, dan sering kita liat mereka mojok buat nangis, sementara mereka juga harus keliatan tenang dan tabah di depan keluarga korban.
Seperti layaknya juga kita, biar lagi ngga enak suasana hati, kadang masih juga harus nyenengin orang laen, dan nonton acara tipi yang uplifting mood seperti ini bisa bikin pikiran jadi seger lagi.

Kesimpulannya, kalo ada yang punya dvd-nya, mbok ya dipinjemin tho …

 
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Posted by on 02/16/2005 in Bahasa Indonesia

 

/film review/ Hotel Rwanda

Those expecting over-melodramatic violence of wars, riots, unrests and alike, kindly be disappointed, for what you’re about to see is an honest and plainly real retelling of an overlook horrible act of human inadequacy from one man’s point of view. Nothing more, nothing less, just about the right proportion.

HOTEL RWANDA centers around Rwanda’s infamous genocide breakout as seen by Paul Rusesabagina, a hotelier who lives his life as the way a man of his age acts: happily settled himself surrounded by loving kids and faithful wife, Tatiana; superbly manages his business by shamelessly admitting the acts of corruption as the key to his survival, which has led him to ignorance of his surroundings.
Not until the gradual tension of the war slowly starts rubbing his attention and changes him from a material-minded businessman to be an unconditional hero who determinedly saves the people from succumbing themselves deeper to those unfortunate conditions.

Your curiosity may focus on the fact whether such a theme that could easily be the source of inspiration from any cheesy made-for-TV flicks is, in fact, cliché. Thanks to Terry George who aptly decided to put the spotlight of the whole hype inside the hotel so as to make an objective point of view towards such a sensitive issue like this, what we get to see is one of the most profoundly humane war stories that ever made to the screen.

By being humane means that George allows the audience to see clearly the progress in the characters’ lives, how Paul and Tatiana are presented as regular folks who, along with their fellow countrymen, never expect such an occurrence would come to their established life, how Paul as a family man would be exhausting himself from head to toe saving his family by doing what he knows best, bribing, stealing and making the best use of any chance he’s got, yet such so-called indecency act is naturally justifiable and accepted at confusing times like that. After all, George would never let any scenes of his wonderfully conceptualized film here fall flat to become mere linking images from one scene to another as each and every frame of story here would complete one another to form a continuous storyline that, simply, move the audience to tears.

For that effect, Don Cheadle carries the major task on his shoulder, and gladly I say that he succeeds doing so. Not necessarily imitating the titular role who is still healthily alive and kicking, and in fact was the consultant of this film, Cheadle adapts the role by interpreting the character on his own and embodies his psychological behavior very well to the extent that we are convinced to see the painful expression on several emotional scenes meant to wrench your heart. His adopted African accent is impeccable, and the chemistry that he made with Sophie Okonedo is painfully real, enchanting us even to the slightest during their brief romance scene that provides a sense of relief throughout the film.
Okonedo herself puts a certain air of bravery in her womanly role, a role of a housewife that has to provide comfort to her children, her husband and herself. Such a role that seems to be destined as object of condemnation in most films proves to be a meaty one, thanks to her believable acting that slips along the scenes well without necessarily stealing the spotlight from Cheadle.

A one feel-good drama that will leave you feeling fulfilled without shedding unnecessary tears. You will be moved, you will shout in triumphant full of joy.

 
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Posted by on 02/15/2005 in English, Film

 

– tomorrow may not be –

do not jump to any hypothesis.
do not make any assumption.

read through.
have a pleasant viewing of each and every single line.

just tell me what you think of the following words:

Life changes its beauty all the time / Sometimes it’s a shade / Sometimes life is a sunlight
Live here every moment to your heart’s content / The time that is here / May not be tomorrow

One who loves you wholeheartedly / It is difficult to meet that person
If there is someone like that somewhere / That person is more beautiful than all
Grab onto his hand / He may not be gracious tomorrow

Taking the shadow of your eyelashes / When someone comes near
You try to reason with your crazy heart / Your heart just goes on beating
But think, that which is here now / That story may not be here tomorrow

Life changes its beauty all the time / Sometimes it’s a shade / Sometimes life is a sunlight
Live here every moment to your heart’s content / The time that is here / May not be tomorrow

The time that is here / May not be tomorrow

i dedicate that to the lovelorns everywhere who may hold up to their utmost ecstatic state of mind.

to ‘the white pants’ couple who find each other again.
to IU who fights for the ‘one in a million, once in a lifetime’.
to Cinta who are surrounded by unfortunate ones.
to my two ‘beibs’ who embark on a destiny.
to one dark knight falling head over feet happily.
to the music encyclopedia raging over jealousy.
to Jeng who is a bride to be.
to my housemates on their own precious space full of warmth and tenderness.
to one thoughtful flatmate liking young ones.

to Twinnie.
to a lifetime.

(nauval to eko over MSN before 6 pm – “love is one thing worth risking, indulging, playing and gambling”)

ps : that song is taken from one bollywood film called kal ho naa ho

😉

 
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Posted by on 02/15/2005 in English

 

‘I can’t take my eyes off of you …’

There she is.

Natalie Portman in her spunky red hair, walking aimlessly, as if she is heading towards us the audience, while actually Jude Law is the man she puts her sights on. As the playful editing shifts between the two faces exchanging smiles, Damien Rice has started crooning his acoustic song riveting about “The Blower’s Daughter” with lyrics that is so aptly tuned to the scene.

“I can’t take my eyes off of you/I can’t take my eyes off you…”

For those who have seen Closer, you may find that the melodious composition of what can be a rip-off from tracks found in some aspiring indie band, actually plays a pivotal role in enhancing the mood of that particular opening scene, transporting audience to an atmosphere of longing and yearning of some undefined feeling.

It is a piece of cake to indicate how one song can successfully be associated with certain scenes from a film. Whenever I come to CD shops and listening to that Damien Rice’s song being played along, I’d surely stop and start acting like Jude Law, pretending to adjust my glasses, gazing at some scattered direction, only to find that no one is willing to sacrifice their dignity to be my Natalie Portman of the moment. How sad.

Or remember the cheerful, full of warmth dinner scene in the middle of My Best Friend’s Wedding, where Cameron Diaz’s big family members joyfully sing along Dionne Warwick’s “I Say A Little Prayer for You”?
And not to mention how Rupert Everett hijacks the whole film with his quirky act, mind-boggling story on his ‘fake’ encounter with Warwick that started him to devilishly sing “the moment I wake up/before I put on my makeup …”

The rest goes down to history as one of the great musical scenes ever found in non-musical films.

Just as we begin to think that soundtrack has been reduced its functionality to become a mere marketing or promotional tool of a film by throwing in any tracks that God only knows whether they suit the film or not (M2M’s “Don’t Say You Love Me” for Pokemon: The First Movie, anyone?), we are glad to reel on those few precious, magical moments where songs and scenes incorporate and integrate nicely to make into works worth remembering. However, integration does not always come smoothly as proven in the massacre of Cole Porter’s works in De-Lovely, in which Irwin Winkler tried to apply the formula on constructing Porter’s biographical story based on his songs that simply fail to engage audience in singing, no matter how familiar they/we are with those standards.

At this point of time, I can’t think of any recent director so tuneful in this trend rather than the genius himself, Mr. Quentin Tarantino, with particular reference to his Kill Bill Vol. 1. Remember the moment when Daryl Hannah as Elle Driver made her grand entrance as a one-eyed nurse, and the camera shoots her figure from below and as the music is progressing, so is the shot of hers slowly building up, and ends with a bang!

 
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Posted by on 02/14/2005 in English

 

Job-Hopping!

Barusan baca blognya Rio terutama bagian drama berseri super menegangkan a la Saur Sepuh, Tutur Tinular, bahkan menyaingi itu lho, aduh, ada satu sandiwara radio yang dimaenin ama cast-nya Losmen! Hayo hayo, yang dulu kerjaannya nangkring depan radio, pasti tau deh sandiwara radio ini.

Nah, kalo udah tau, tolong kasih tau gue lewat email gue ini aja, lha wong gue ngga mau nulis tentang sandiwara radio koq! Ehehehehe!

Setelah baca postingan yang lanjut ama SMS-an ama yang punya blog alias Rio itu, gue baru nyadar kalo bapak satu ini punya jenjang perjalanan karir yang lumayan panjang, terarah dan mantap. Paling ngga setelah gue sempet tau latar belakang pendidikannya, dan jenis kerjaan yang dia jalanin selama ini dan memang sangat nyambung itu, gue bisa bilang tentang terarah ato engga itu.
Nah, yang pengen gue tulis disini adalah betapa masih banyak dari kita, ato paling ngga gue nulis berdasarkan pengalaman pribadi dan beberapa temen gue disini, yang masih belum ketauan dan belum bisa jawab pertanyaan ibu guru, oom/tante, bahkan orang tua kita sendiri yang sering ditanyain waktu kita kecil dulu:

“Nak, kalo kamu sudah besar nanti, mau jadi apa?”

Dan sim salabim abrakadabra! Bermunculan lah jawaban standar yang dulu sering dipake, dan mari kita analisis kenapa akhirnya jawaban ini ngga ada yang terpenuhi:

“Pengen jadi polisi”
(Analisa: Nak, jadi polisi itu susah, gaji kecil, panas-panas ngejar setoran!)

“Pengen jadi presiden”
(Analisa: Nak, dulu yang bisa jadi Presiden cuma satu)

“Pengen jadi astronaut”
(Analisa: Nak, please deh, dulu Pratiwi Sudharmono itu belum sempet jadi astronaut beneran!)

“Pengen jadi dokter”
(Analisa: Nak, pelajaran IPA-mu dulu aja ngga pernah lewat dari 6)

“Pengen jadi petani”
(Analisa: Nak, hari gini gitu looohhh!)

“Pengen jadi insinyur”
(Analisa: Nak, matematika mu aja sering keteteran gitu)

“Pengen jadi bapak rumah tangga yang baik”
(Analisa: Naaaakkk, kamu kecil-kecil udah mikir gituan!)

Maaak, terus gue mau jadi apa?

Lebih sedihnya lagi, sampe pasca usia seperempat abad ini, pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu bukannya malah terjawab satu-satu, tapi malah nambah satu-satu juga karena hidup di negeri orang independently (wes ewes ewes bahasa-neee!) ini berarti musti mikir banyak konsekuensi lain kalo mau ganti kerjaan, pindah kerjaan, ato simply menganggur.

Menganggur? Ah! Itu kata yang sering jadi momok semua orang! Karena dibilang kalo masa menganggur berarti masa yang tidak produktif. Masa sih?

Padahal pengalaman gue selama masa pengangguran, bisa hidup lebih sehat, karena berarti saya bisa maen squash dan nge-gym gratisan ama Anoe di kondo dia, ato jogging di pagi hari, dilanjut dengan nulis novel yang ga pernah kelar itu (dan buat 3 rekan seperguruan, inilah understatement kalo gue bener-bener ngerjain project kita yaaaa!), atau nonton DVD pinjeman dari Esplanade Library, nulis review nya, baca buku banyak-banyak, nonton lunch performance gratis di Esplanade yang ga pernah bisa gue tonton, ke arts galleries yang ga pernah gue sentuh lagi dalam setaun terakhir ini, bahkan (malu banget!) gue belum pernah nginjekin kaki ke Singapore Tyler Print Institute (STPI) yang terkenal karena cuman ada satu Tyler Print Institute buat Asia itu! Aaaahhh!
Lihatlah, betapa indahnya dunia!

Walaupun tiap tanggal 20 dan tanggal 30, akhirnya gue harus menunduk dalam, mengais-ngais celengan sambil meluk Bambang membayar tagihan rumah, tagihan telpon, tagihan listrik, tagihan internet, dan belum lagi tagihan-tagihan laen yang bikin gue akhrinya menyerah lagi, untuk mencari kerja lagi …

For the sake of survival!

Dan lingkaran setan untuk bertahan hidup inilah yang membuat gue akhirnya kembali mencari kerja yang orang laen bisa bilang sebagai “kerja abal-abal” karena kerjaannya bisa dibilang semi blue-collar work, gaji pas-pasan banget, dan slightly over-qualified benernya. Tapi apa mau dikata, kerjaan inilah yang bayar kebutuhan hidup mendasar gue, yang bisa membuat gue masih tegar berdiri, dan kuncinya bertahan di tempat kerjaan is simply to …

Find the good things of your work!

Kerja pertama gue jadi sales executive di perusahaan kecil yang suka bikin conferences ato seminars emang eneg banget, karena kerja sales berarti menuhin target kuota, boss mana peduli sih kita kerja jungkir balik kalo hasilnya ngga menuhin target, tetep dianggep gagal. Tapi dari sini gue bisa ketemu temen-temen gila yang sampe sekarang masih suka ketemuan sebulan ato dua bulan sekali, dan klub kita yang 7-8 orang ini bener-bener pembawa sial buat kantor itu kayanya, karena setelah kita SEMUA keluar dari situ, sales figures nya jadi naek drastis sejak dipegang ama orang-orang baru! Huahahahahha! Harap dimaklumi kalo ngga ada satupun dari kita yang bakat jualan!

Kerja kedua gue jadi administrator di satu sekolah khusus buat orang-orang dengan autisme dan down syndrome sempet membuat gue tereak kegirangan, “Ini yang gue mau!”, karena gimanapun juga, kerja sosial kaya gini bisa membuat gue berinteraksi dengan dunia yang jarang gue sentuh. Sayangnya, gue masuk di saat yang salah, karena gue masuk bener-bener dalam keadaan nol, sekolah belum jadi, yang ada gue malah jadi mandor tukang-tukang bangunan itu, sementara boss udah expect gue perform my work! Lha gimana mau perform my work and duties kalo kantor aja belum ada? Ah sayang sekali, gue keluar disaat anak-anak itu udah mulai mengenal dan dekat ama gue …
Tapi yang gue suka banget dari sekolah ini adalah lokasinya yang ga Singapore banget! Bayangkan suasana perumahan yang asri, jauh dari keramaian, dari MRT station masih jalan sekitar 15 menit, ada orang-orang yang notabene penduduk sekitar perumahan itu selalu duduk-duduk di taman setiap paginya untuk berolahraga atau sekedar rumpi-rumpi sambil bawa anjing-anjing mereka, masih banyak pepohonan rindang, dan gue hidup sehat banget selama kerja disini.

Kerja ketiga gue yang masih gue lakoni sekarang ini kerjaan customer service biasa yang gue ga perlu jelasin lagi kaya gimana karena kerjaan customer service dimana-mana juga sama aja koq. Again, dapet kerjaan ini karena gue ga bisa nganggur lama-lama abis kelar kerjaan kedua itu, jadi bisa dibilang means of survival juga, dan meskipun super eneg ama kerjaannya tiap hari, gue suka ama fleksibilitas disini, dalam artian, gue kerja normal dari Senin-Jumat, dan kalo gue kerja di hari libur yang jatuh di satu hari antara Senin-Jumat itu, gue ngga libur, tapi gue dibayar double buat hari itu, dan ditambah lagi cuti tahunan gue! Hihihihi, kebayang dong sampe sekarang cuti tahunan gue berapa!
Dan lokasinya yang ngga jauh dari rumah membuat gue ngga perlu bangun terlalu pagi buat ngejar bis, tapi hasilnya? Sumber pemborosan, gara-gara sok ngerasa deket, yang ada malah kebirit-birit nyari taxi!

Dan disamping kerjaan-kerjaan itu, masih banyak hal laen yang gue kerjain selama masa kuliah, mulai jadi waiter, jadi baduuuuttt! Hahahahahahah! Kerjaan super fun dengan bayaran super fun juga nih! Terus jadi festival assistant nya Singapore Arts Festival, jadi liaison officer, backstage crew buat some theatre productions, kerja admin, tralala trilili …

See how one like me survives?

Kalo sampe sekarang masih banyak orang yang bilang “Aduh Nauval, kerjaan-kerjaan elo itu ngga elo banget deh”, ya gue terima aja, karena emang gitu adanya. Sampe sekarang belum bisa apply credit card, ya ngga patheken (koq ngga ada yang ngomong pake kata ini lagi sih sekarang?), toh belum terlalu butuh juga.

Yang jelas, saya merasa beruntung karena dikelilingi teman-teman terdekat yang ngerti banget dengan situasi nyari kerja di Singapore ini, sampe teman serumah saya tercinta Cay ini pernah bilang, “Komunitas ato lingkungan kita ini enak banget koq, kerja admin ngga masalah, yang penting bertahan hidup, kerja apapun juga jadi!”
Belum lagi kekaguman saya ama temen yang laen, Irene Titik alias si Ite si job-hopper sejati yang bisa enak banget pindah dari kerjaan satu ke kerjaan lain yang pokoknya buat dia, “Lho, kalo gue ngerasa ngga nyaman ama kerjaan gue, ya mendingan gue keluar tho Pal, daripada makan ati, ya ngga sih?”
Dan temen-temen yang kerjaannya udah mantep macem Agatha, Aki, Umbad, Wenny, Imesh, Fina, dan juga Sayid yang bakal mantep banget pun ngga keberatan dengan gaya hidup begajulan gue yang ngga jelas maunya apa, sambil tetep ngasih support ama apapun yang jadi kesenengan gue.

*terharu, hiks!*

Akhirnya, gue nulis ini karena teringet ama blognya Esther yang pernah nulis cuman dua baris aja, tapi ngena banget di gue (sorry jeng, gue kutip tanpa seijin elo duluan!):

gue mungkin belum tau apa yang gue mau,
tapi yang pasti gue tau apa yang gue NGGAK MAU!!!

 
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Posted by on 02/14/2005 in Bahasa Indonesia

 

and the ship sails on

you sail along the sea
smoothly as the breeze
as if the ship
has been yours for the rest of your past life

until now

when you decided to take me
as i am showing you
my yearning for being in the par
yet i chose to remain seated

as a passenger.

who can only dream
without making it come true.

 
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Posted by on 02/13/2005 in English

 

KomAng Perdana

when four aspiring souls were flocked together and being sat down by destiny in hampering land of endless green grass while sunshine spraying its golden ray of light to sparkling effect of glowing twilight in the afternoon,

what do you expect?

when acay backed his side from our view, we were drawn to his unrequited love.
when ayu strolled down the memory line, tears were shed.
when nauval gave the keys, doors were open ajar and still waiting to be explored.
when ite asked us to meditate, she brought the whole world down to its knees.

what do you see?

that when one finds other people, he finds himself among the crowd.
that a spark of hope undeniably prevails from the lowest state of dirt.

that to feel alive, one shall look no further.

take yourself out to the land of freedom.

 
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Posted by on 02/13/2005 in English

 

i can’t go any more blatant than this, so …

Woooohhhooo!

this is purely unexplainable, or actually is this?

all i could recall this morning when i woke up is this tremendously immense feeling that says

‘i miss you’, t.

for i know that once I declared

‘i’m not gonna miss you, because i love you. as simple as that’,

now the reality starts settling in: that no matter how we put our strongest resistance, it’s part of the package we get. miss, love, care, hate, bored.

oh how I look forward to the latter!

Booooo hooooo!



someone cried for getting his heart broken into pieces last nite and you sacrificed your precious time to console him. while it should have been me in your position, yet your maturity prevailed by simply being yourself to the utmost “dry” state of mind :-), alrite!

i hope that guy is doing fine now.

yet you left me here with nothing but this huge, gigantic abundance of longing for … you.

yeah, t, welcome to the core of tackiness, silliness, corniness, and other ness-ness which we have indulged so far.

while i know that we just love each other plainly, truthfully, honestly, one can not help being surrendered to the utmost egoistical feeling:

i need you right here, right now.

and to think that soon in a few hours time you’ll be pampering yourself in the breeze of fresh air filled with factory outlets, butik distro, and many eating places, I could only scream:

Aaaaarrggghhh!



twinkelnee, twinnelnee, twinnelnum, twinkie twinkie twinneltoon …

 
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Posted by on 02/11/2005 in English

 

/film review/ Being Julia.

BEING JULIA sparks the reminiscence of glorious old Hollywood days when larger-than-life characters often portrayed on the screen and be given serious considerations by putting them into, simply, good films. As the time progressed up to date where reality-look-alike has become increasingly boring, we turn ourselves to even greater contrast in those visual-effects driven films, and once in a while, a small film like Being Julia here is released to remind us how acting, a good one, defines the quality of a film in general and to the extent of lifting up the film from its fluffiness.

Take a look of the story. The aging diva Julia Lambert (Annette Bening in her performance of a lifetime) is at the brink of her downfall popularity, not even her husband who is also the theatre manager in which they formed together (played by Jeremy Irons who seems not being able to capture comic timings) could help her finding some excitement to satisfy her own self. Not until she encountered a dashing young American (Shaun Evans) when she embarked on an illicit affair, without her acknowledgement that she was being manipulated by him for his own agenda, i.e. providing a stepping stone for his girlfriend, a new starlet Avice Crichton (Lucy Punch). Or did she really not know?



Once she got to know the games played behind her back, then the real fun of the film begins.

The storyline may recall the similarity found in All About Eve, with a hint of playfulness a la Sunset Boulevard, and who can resist the combination of both? At times funny, nail-biting sharp bantering lines continues to march throughout the film, over-the-top gestures that provide comic elements, they are wrapped harmoniously under the direction of Istvan Szabo who certainly having a good time making this film. It may not be his best as that one is reserved for his glorious Sunshine, but to see the good elements of one enjoyable film are put nicely in such a watchable presentation that never falls out of the sync is an applaudable effort, isn’t it?

Moreover so with a grand presence of Annette Bening in the house.



In the tradition of films (seem to be) catered, crafted, designed and made to one particular actress playing the designated role of their careers, such as how All About Eve means Bette Davis, Sunset Boulevard refers to Gloria Swanson, Sophie’s Choice belongs to Meryl Streep, or recent examples would give Salma Hayek is destined to play Frida, so is Annette Bening who goes further in merely playing as Julia. Seeing this film from the very first minute to the end, we will be seeing Bening embodies and steps into her character so well that we begin to forget the presence of a certain often under-appreciated actress playing the role of her lifetime. Every lines shown in her face belong to Julia’s, so do the mimics, the gestures, the grandeur movements of hers that beyond the word believable. In other words that may seem to be overtly used for some meaningless promotional advertisements of bad films, yet you can rely on me this time, I proudly state that Annette Bening is Being Julia.



What a sweet revenge it is if she wins at the Academy Awards this time, for it means a tribute and a win to Davis, Swanson, and other grand actresses who never won playing roles they know better than anyone else: a diva.

 
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Posted by on 02/10/2005 in English, Film

 

/film review/ Closer.

At times, I have to close my eyes, block my ears, to avoid listening to words the characters say, for they are simply too painful to hear. Not that they are bad, but they are meant to evoke your utmost sense in dealing with lies, deception, and betrayal.

CLOSER presents a close look on how one has to deal with complexity in not just a relationship or two, or not even countable as those relationships are intertwined and tangled dizzyingly to one another. Take a look.

Meet Alice, a free-spirited American girl trying a piece of her life in London who, on one clear day, stumbles upon Dan, a struggling novelist who ends up being an obituary writer, who will be falling in love with Anna, a successful photographer at the height of her career, who will be taken by the charm of Larry, a doctor with typical male-chauvinist pig character inside of him, who will be longing for Alice’s presence at times when his life starts crumbling down.



Confused? We only reach the start. The core is much more interesting to see.

Once we peek at their domestic lives, we know that we can expect something different, unlike any other films dealing with similar theme before, for this time around, Mike Nichols has returned to his roots in theatrical/stage-y manner of presenting human interpersonal matters in a frank manner that to some extent shifts towards being blatant, blunt, and brutal, in the tradition of his own Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? or Carnal Knowledge, or Wit, or even Angels in America without any advanced visual effects. The shocking effects we can expect are Patrick Marber’s intimidating and manipulative words from his own play. The words are not merely written for the sake of having scenes that flow smoothly from one scene to another, but they are created thoughtfully and crafted through the ways they are uttered convincingly so much so that we will be leaving with questions whether those words are literally real, true or even deceiving?

Or do we begin to choose to accept the reality as the way we want to perceive it as is?

The way this film is presented without any clear conscience on timeframe actually enables us as the audience to choose the angle we wish to see and interpret the story, be it seen as a harsh, funny, witty or even dramatic rendition of human relationships, in any form. And the tendency to confront ourselves with words instead of action does actually happen in our lives, as we think that we can hide under the comfort zone of manipulations and lies, yet these two will actually trap us down deeper to the holes of continuous, endless fakes of reality.



Such a heavyweight theme, don’t you think? Yet, the way these sexual matters are told instead of meaninglessly shown would not giving you hard times or painful sitting through throughout the entire duration, and I can’t help questioning whether this is Nichol’s reason on the choice of the cast. Let’s see.

Julia Roberts in her furthest departure from usual roles she has played so far, provides a certain confidence in her uptight character of Anna, yet being bombarded with the regretful fact that the role was meant to be played by the always-reliable Cate Blanchett has hindered me from giving an objective view of Julia’s turnout here. I rest my case here. All I can come up with is how I do enjoy seeing Julia here, although the execution can be triggered to a higher level.

The same case happens to Jude Law, somehow is still unable to shake-off his own persona in playing the role of Dan that actually require the actor to bear his skin through his gentleness and sweet, tender gestures suggesting playful characters. Yet, Law only manages to barely reach the surface of the character as we can still see Law carrying himself here, somehow it’s hard for me to differentiate his Dan and his Alfie in another film of the same name.

That leaves us with two actors who, surprisingly, manage to hold their own screen presence in this film strongly and superbly: Clive Owen and Natalie Portman.



Playing a tart with deceiving heart that longing for truthfulness in other human beings she encounters in her life, Portman injects a strong dose of child-like feminine characterization to her Alice, suggesting that she can be fragile yet approachable at the same time; her journey in finding herself being loved faithfully by men surrounding her would mean sacrifice that she has to endure and that makes her strong, manipulative and decisive.

Clearly this is the most mature role Portman has ever played to date, and seeing her carrying her role with vivid understanding of a woman being victimized by her surroundings leave me feeling thrilled, as every minute of her screen time would be filled with surprises clearly shown in her facial expression, and it really is hard to believe that it’s been a decade since she made an outburst entrance in Leon The Professional.

Finally, if one has to single out one performance that stands out and apart from the rest, the noble honor belongs to Clive Owen, at last playing a role that deserves our attention and suitably match his charisma, his charm and his towering presence as a character actor. We can’t help seeing his character, Larry, here as a beast and as I wrote earlier, a typical male-chauvinist pig, and we get to the part of dismissing this character further as Owen plays the character in a menacing way, plainly honest in revealing his own truest fear and insecurity over his holdups. The rising of sensitive, new age guy has been clearly defied by Owen who gives macho-ism in his character here, and being Larry enables Owen to showcase his amazing range of acting skills that would be enviable to character-actors wannabe out there. Studious character that is played without being over-acted, Larry belongs to that rarity of characters who can be both loved and loathed at the same time, and Owen does his Larry convincingly that we begin to wonder on how this man, this particular character has been living around us all this time.

Being a human being with all the failures, the risings and the longing for boredom and steadiness in relationships, I can’t help myself reeling over this film. Never before sex, lies, truth and deceits are given an intellectual treatment with smart and witty lines peppered here and there, capturing not only your eyes but also your mind, captivating your senses to begin questioning:

What is truth?



CLOSER is all about the most sexually and sensually brutal film ever.

 
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Posted by on 02/09/2005 in English, Film

 

define this.

it all began with a simple message of meet-up, which was wrapped under the performance of a lifetime recalling the fond memories as appeared on any romantic comedy movies (and you said, “udah deh! romantic comedy tuh emang genre-nya Hollywood punya, Hollywood tuh jagonya bikin romantic comedy!”).

what followed afterwards was what i’d like to refer as how the term ‘defining moments’ got its appropriate meaning.

the first film: finding neverland

the first concert: k.d. lang in concert

the first dvd: same time, next year

the first time when i don’t crave for unnecessary sentimental feeling, for feeling is just a feeling after all, they are already aptly transformed to all those tacky silly corny songs we indulge ourselves in to.

the first time when i find that honesty speaks louder than any pretentiousness under the name of safety zone.

the first time when talking about each other’s earnings and sex encounters has never been this truthful, and fruitful on the same rhyme.

the first time when i know that it feels alive to love you.

and to think that it began with trashing on films that we seldom find ourselves in a mutual agreement, i can only say:

thank you, Twinnie.

 
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Posted by on 02/08/2005 in English

 

/concert review/ k.d. lang @ Esplanade, 04 February 2005

What a thrill of the nite!

As I stepped my feet on to Esplanade Theatre, looking over the Theatre Hall and the stage where the orchestra pits were set, I still couldn’t find myself be humming along k.d. lang’s songs in the next 90 minutes or so. You may think it as a horrenduous start as I purchased the album last week and has played the CD on my hi-fi for several times in the past few days. Yet, I don’t recall a single word of the lyrics! Worse, I couldn’t rely this on Ve who had just listened to the CD a few hours earlier.

Lights were dimmed, the voice-over announcement came saying the basic standard of regulations in watching a concert, and to my surprise, my watch showed that it was only 8.03 pm! Alritey, whoever constructed Sting’s concert last time, never attempt to make audience awaiting for more than one hour!

“Ladies and gentlemen …. k. … d. … lang!”

There she was, strolling along the stage nicely in such a girlish manner, cute, sheepish smile that was never worn out, matched with a long, dark blue skirt and on barefoot! How more ordinary can you be in seeing a multiple Grammy Award winner in such a drapery clothing? Apparently, what you see would not be what you expected.

Without further due of unnecessary greetings, she started out the evening with her smooth rendition of Don’t Smoke in Bed. Playful and sweet lady-like at the same time, she continued marching throughout the evening with mostly songs from her latest album “Hymns of the 49th Parallel” to which she called it as “continuous examples of fine Canadian songwritings” before she began singing The Valley from Jane Siberry, one of the highlights of the night where she belted out the song that began with bass playing and flew along in the rhythm of tuneful notes.

And that’s the magic of the concert which explains the 20-year lengthy career of k.d. lang. Here’s the thing about her. She has placed herself as one of the very rare artists who never revolutionized or defied the challenges, yet she evolved in her maturity and thoughtfulness as the time progresses, and the world slowly began to perceive her as a iconical figure. In a clear example of that statement, how can one be boldly standing out in the midst of hectic crowd on singers-remaking-standards? By injecting a lot of hearts into the songs being ‘cover-version’ed (if such a word exists), and remaking not necessarily means “merely sing the same song again with my own voice”, but what needs to be taken into account is how one gives a new interpretation and possibly a new life into into it.

That’s exactly what k.d. lang has enjoyed over the past few years when she decided to make a tidal wave against her outburst creative process by turning herself into standards and distinctively created a certain atmosphere of freshness in those classics, be it in her own or with Tony Bennett, the late Roy Orbinson, or some other artists. She chose her songs carefully in each of her remake albums, she ensured that the songs would reflect her truest sense of being: a womanhood.

A woman that has matured along with the time, she might be Crying over her lost lover, and that perhaps explained why Ve gave a little smirk over what he thought as one of the (very minor) letdowns of the night’s concert. Could it be because she had to carry the burden herself rather than sharing it with Roy Orbison as we usually hear? It may not be easy to justify as she proved otherwise when she came back to the stage (one of the three encores for the nite) and singing the universally recognized Kiss to Build Dream On in a girlish manner that left the audience wanting for more.



However, being way too familiar with one particular hit of hers that earned a controversy and a Grammy along the same note back on early ’90s, my thirst of curiosity for this song was finally quenched when she sang this over-played song in an unexpected twist. Yes, you got that right. Her Constant Craving was treated with gentle, proper care as shown in the grandeur style of orchestra, yet exactly in the midst of its perfectly balanced mixture with her own band that provides electrical sound, we can hear each party’s distinctiveness that in fact, left us wanting for more. For more good performances like this.

And as I stepped my feet out of Esplanade Theatre after riding high on this magical concert for 75 minutes, I can’t help myself humming along Neil Young’s Helpless, another classic taken from her latest album that she performed in an understated and subdued manner that brought the house down to its knees in thrilling sense, for I was helplessly saying deep down in my heart:



One of the best concerts ever.






 
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Posted by on 02/08/2005 in English