At the dawn of the day, you can find me there.

Staring blankly at the Singapore river.

Humming the tunes from Sarah Vaughan to Billie Holiday in her ‘Lady in Satin’.

Penning a letter or two.

To you.



Or maybe, not.

Just to inhale a fresh piece of air.



How I wish to know if feelings can be measured by definite tangible measurement, be it number of minutes, days, weeks, months, years …

How I wish to understand how one experiences floating thoughts rushing to cause a jam inside one’s mind …

How I wish to reel on the memory to relive the glory old days,

Only to find that the past has to remain as is.

“I heard the rumour, it was in …?”

“Iya”



(Just as stiff as you can be.)



“And that significant other now must be …?”

“You two met last time”

“Hahahaha! When?”

“Not long after you”



(Pull it off! Pull it in!)



“Oh! OK … Well, eeerrrmmm, oh ya?”

“Tapi kayanya … ”

“Hey, please don’t”

“Ngga koq”

“That’s better.”



(Why do you have to?)



“I’m happy now, I hope he is”

“You deserve it after all”



(Stick to promises.)



“Are you happy, to see me happy?”

“Hahaha, how am I supposed to answer that?”

“I don’t know, I guess …”

“Up to this moment, I am, I’ve been, and I will.”

Cold as it can be.

Unpolished, unfinished, impolite.

I’m at the utmost ease with myself.



I feel nothing.





— Sade, from her Your Love is King to By Your Side, she breathes the songs to fill in the air full of romance —