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Daily Archives: 12/05/2004

Tuhan, I feel like a Being.

Tuhan,

aku koq jadi malu,

segan nan hesitant

dengan Anda.


Tuhan,

padahal aku cuman mau,

eerrm … anu … itu …

dimanja!

yang kata orang-orang “ngondek” itu lhooo, Gusti.

tapi mbuh, koq malu pake kata itu, katanya orang,

“hus! ora ilok! ra pantes!”

Tuhan,

kalo emang ga boleh ngondek, lha wong kata itu juga pemberianMu

Panjenengan Yang Maha yang nyiptain kita kumplit pake segala rasa dan jiwa katanya,

kita maen-maen aja koq pake anugerah-Mu itu,

jadilah kata-kata ajaib meluncur dari kami, tapi tetep,

ngaturaken pangapunten Tuhan sekiranya kami kelewatan, ora pantes dan ora ilok itu tadi.

Tuhan,

kelewatan kah kami juga kalo kami minta langsung?

minta mobil gitu loh, tapi pengennya dikasih langsung,

ga pake pancingan,

ga model pepatah yang bilang “berilah umpan dan kail, jangan kau beri umpan”

emooohhh! ora gelem!

lha wong kita sering take for granted keeksistensian Situ.

duh Tuhan,

makhluk mu ini bener-bener manja!

minta dikasih duit ato dedemit yang langsung jatuh dari langit,

gak mau pake yang harus kerja dulu ato nongkrong di kuburan,

maunya langsung sa’dhek sa’nyet ketok ndhek ngarep moto.

ya gini ini, muanja pol disisiMu, ya Gusti.

oalah Tuhan,

padahal teges-teges Engkau nulis supaya kita berusaha dan bekerja dulu, baru Engkau membantu bahkan memudahkan sampai memberi.

ndableg tenan emang kami! diparingi ati ngrogoh rempelo, padahal ga semua orang doyan rempelo, katanya orang, “high cholesterol, lho!”

matur sembah nuwun, Tuhan.

kami masih melek pas matahari njedul dul di langit.
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Posted by on 12/05/2004 in Bahasa Indonesia

 

Rebound. Redo. Relish. Relieve





At the dawn of the day, you can find me there.

Staring blankly at the Singapore river.

Humming the tunes from Sarah Vaughan to Billie Holiday in her ‘Lady in Satin’.

Penning a letter or two.

To you.



Or maybe, not.

Just to inhale a fresh piece of air.



How I wish to know if feelings can be measured by definite tangible measurement, be it number of minutes, days, weeks, months, years …

How I wish to understand how one experiences floating thoughts rushing to cause a jam inside one’s mind …

How I wish to reel on the memory to relive the glory old days,

Only to find that the past has to remain as is.

“I heard the rumour, it was in …?”

“Iya”




(Just as stiff as you can be.)



“And that significant other now must be …?”

“You two met last time”

“Hahahaha! When?”

“Not long after you”




(Pull it off! Pull it in!)



“Oh! OK … Well, eeerrrmmm, oh ya?”

“Tapi kayanya … ”

“Hey, please don’t”

“Ngga koq”

“That’s better.”




(Why do you have to?)



“I’m happy now, I hope he is”

“You deserve it after all”




(Stick to promises.)



“Are you happy, to see me happy?”

“Hahaha, how am I supposed to answer that?”

“I don’t know, I guess …”

“Up to this moment, I am, I’ve been, and I will.”

Cold as it can be.

Unpolished, unfinished, impolite.

I’m at the utmost ease with myself.



I feel nothing.





Sade, from her Your Love is King to By Your Side, she breathes the songs to fill in the air full of romance


 
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Posted by on 12/05/2004 in English, Personal