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About nauvalyazid

Words fail me. But without words, what am I?

Dealova.

once in a while, comes a film worth every single piece of bad comment on the film’s lack of good quality. the redundancy you may notice on the previous sentence is intended to create similar effect to the film.

if they think that indonesian film audience still has not gotten enough dose of brainless teen-flick, think again. the situation has reached the effect of feeding-the-beast, in which the audience soon need to be rushed for treatment of OD-ed by flood of nihilistic love story, whereas producers soon have to endure circle effect of being forced to start all over again in creating a new trend.

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nevermind the story, you’ve read or seen it dozens of times before. in fact, spoilers are highly needed to decipher many unbalanced shots not supposedly presented on a big screen as they fit much better on a small screen. what we need to know is why the film seems to lack of direction.

a good director will not have scenes like a girl playing basketball in between three cars circling her moves, or a zoom-in to a packet of tissue, or some 30-second half-lit room where the character utters one single unimportant word.

a good director will think of more coherent logic to make a proper ending. modern literary audience who has consumed contemporary works of arts will not be satisfied with deus-ex-machina concept as it will only show the director’s lack of vision and rushing to finish the story as soon as possible.
(if i see rudy soedjarwo laughing about the latter, i can only pity him since ‘tentang dia’ suffers from the same problem.)

now it is time for indonesian film producers to consider which films they need to show to the press, and which ones are not. after all, how do you expect to comment on this response from one of the reporters upon watching this film:

“oh, the film is awfully fun, i had a good time. seriously! you’d no idea how fun it could be to find many, and i mean many, scenes to bash throughout the entire film!”

it happened.

 
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Posted by on 10/08/2005 in English, Film

 

definitely not for your ramadhan …

… or maybe later on at nites?

whenever your availability is, i can’t help noting this blog as one hilarious work of people who, apparently, have paid greater attention to being fashion police for celebrities in indonesia.

talking of such, it’s funny how despite all the political incorrectness of privacy intrusion done by the so-called infotainment shows, nothing has been done in national scale towards commenting on how the celebrities dressy whenever they make public appearances. are we that late, again?!
so, my piece of words have made it clear, the blog below is worth visiting at your own risk πŸ™‚

http://whodoyouthinkheare.blogspot.com/

to you two bitches, especially mpok jane for allowing me to get inside your truest identity, i’ve paid my due here. darn it, i should’ve picked up the clues at that time…

 
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Posted by on 10/07/2005 in English

 

unseen.

when you say, “God knows i’m trying”,
does he know?

when you say, “God knows i’ve been crying”,
does he see?

when you say, “God knows i was lying”,
has he been aware of that?

or has he perceived whatever you have shown?

God only knows,
but he doesn’t.

 
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Posted by on 10/06/2005 in English

 

some life as i know it.

mungkin ada yang berumah tangga seadanya beralas tikar dan koran.
mungkin ada yang terlelap di atas kasur berbusa beralaskan genangan air kolam.
mungkin ada yang terpaksa berhadapan langsung dengan raja singa dalam naungan langit malam.
mungkin ada yang berencana untuk angkat kaki dari dunia.

mungkin hidup berarti menghidupi lahir tanpa batin.
mungkin hidup adalah alat untuk melanjutkan eksistensi.
mungkin hidup terdiri atas alunan langkah di atas pasir yang tak pernah putih.
mungkin hidup akan sedikit jazzy dengan suara ella atau billie dalam alunan jobim.

mungkin saja aku terantuk dalam keteraturan, sedangkan
mungkin saja kamu terbuai dalam gelimang kepalsuan, padahal
mungkin saja kita semua sama lelahnya dan berkeringat darah, meskipun
mungkin saja mereka terjerembab dalam konsep yang terpatri dari dini.

mungkin ada begitu banyak pengharapan yang terurai dari secuil mimpi
mungkin ada begitu saja mimpi itu tanpa pernah disadari
mungkin ada begitu kita merebahkan penat diatas lembutnya harum bantal dan guling
mungkin ada hidup yang harus tersuapi.

 
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Posted by on 10/05/2005 in Uncategorized

 

stand.

to see you standing right in front,

and to have me standing behind,

to guard you should you fall,

to look over your towering figure,

driver’s seat is made available for one.

 
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Posted by on 10/04/2005 in English

 

blunders.

dulu, jaman es-em-a waktu saya sering ikut lomba-lomba sejenis cerdas cermat (and looking back now, i realized that i was some kind of freaking nerd!), guru-guru yang ngelatih saya selalu mastiin kalau saya dan temen-temen satu tim harus tenang waktu babak adu cepat. kenapa? kata mereka, kalau bikin satu kesalahan dalam situasi yang dikejar-kejar waktu seperti itu, maka kita akan cenderung melakukan banyak kesalahan lagi di soal-soal berikutnya, karena kita pikir kalo kita bakal dapetin nilai lebih banyak untuk mengurangi pengurangan nilai dari soal yang salah tadi.

dulu, saya ngga percaya, sampai pada akhirnya dalam satu kesempatan, hal itu benar-benar terjadi. walaupun begitu, juara ketiga akhirnya didapetin juga koq.

menginjak sedikit dewasa seperti sekarang ini, dalam hidup yang berasa berlalu cepat walaupun saya ngga dengan sengaja mengejar waktu, saya merasa semakin sering melakukan hal yang pernah saya lakukan di cerdas cermat itu: membuat kesalahan demi kesalahan yang dipicu dari satu langkah yang semestinya tidak diambil.
yang lebih parahnya, beberapa tahun terakhir ini saya seperti tersadar juga oleh sesuatu yang lain.
ketika saya sedang melakukan kesalahan dan bingung berikut menyesali kesalahan itu, maka selain melakukan kesalahan lain, saya pun akan bingung dan menyesali perbuatan-perbuatan lain yang mungkin sudah dilakukan di masa lalu, atau hal-hal yang sudah sedemikian lamanya tersimpan dalam hati, namun tidak pernah dikeluarkan sebelumnya.

blunders after blunders, mistakes after mistakes.

makanya, banyak orang bilang supaya berhati-hati ketika kita marah, karena kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut kita ketika marah bisa jadi adalah ungkapan perasaan yang sudah terpendam sekian lama dalam hati atau pikiran, dan ketika ada dorongan yang kuat dimana seluruh otot syaraf terkuras, maka pemikiran-pemikiran tersembunyi itu pun berhamburan keluar.

kalau anda pikir ini adalah tulisan biasa yang cenderung ikut-ikutan sejuta pesan massal menjelang bulan suci ramadhan, mungkin ada relevansi nya juga disana-sini. toh masalah interpretasi bukan hak saya untuk mengatur.
seperti layaknya tulisan lain, ini adalah sekedar ketikan jari tangan saya yang merefleksikan sedikit penyesalan atas begitu banyaknya kesalahan yang saya buat akhir-akhir ini, yang membuat banyak pihak merasa terabaikan, tersinggung, dan mungkin terhina.

saya minta maaf kalau saya pernah menyakiti. kalau tidak pernah pun, saya tetap minta maaf karena saya tahu bahwa saya tidak pernah dengan jelas mengungkapkan apa maksud saya bertindak tanduk seperti ini.

ah, tulisan ini juga tidak terlalu jelas πŸ™‚

tapi ini pelajaran buat saya, dan semoga anda juga, bahwa pikiran yang terarah dan teratur dalam mengungkapkan perasaan adalah suatu anugerah Tuhan yang tidak gampang diraih, karena perlu begitu banyak waktu untuk terus berlatih.

 
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Posted by on 10/04/2005 in Bahasa Indonesia

 

in a nutshell …

… or more?

qatar airways. 1 hour late. twinnie. kenny. spice garden. from imesh to jembi. warung kita plaza indonesia. fina, avin, bona, nuki. air asia. doel. mum. dad. hanna. garuda indonesia. mandiri executive lounge. dinner at jimbaran. gran melia nusa dua. legong dance. kuta market. uluwatu. hard rock. an issue or not an issue. legian. jogja-inspired sandals. pre-sunset expensive iced tea. a packet of nasi padang. hbo in hotel room. sukawati. cancer and its chemotherapy. wrong rooms. driving during heat. pecel kawi. dody and his confessions. bakso kota. mike and his β€˜box’ car. nasi goreng pulosari. confetti part i. coffee shop hotel tugu. golda and becak. detik terakhir. sate ayam ponorogo. revisit lupus. confetti part ii. dealova. bakoel koffee cikini. the board game. the jb guy. men’s health. pempek tim. bali blast. corpse bride. project shop. jeremy. oh la la and script. wedding crashers. nasi uduk kota. daily bread setiabudi. the deafening silence. white shoes and the couples company. the unseen cries.

here I am again.

 
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Posted by on 10/03/2005 in English

 

what’s a holiday?

… when the mind’s not resting from thinking of many things, and concentrating on one thing that should have been the most comforting on the first place?
again, i am drawn to the confusion state of my silence, of my silent surrender that may not be seen or recognized, due to its passiveness (if there’s such a word), and so much so to the extent that i may not recognize it myself.
what am i talking about here?
another random thoughts that i yet to decipher the original threads which hopefully would lead me, and take me away from the misery.
as they say, misery loves good company, yet somehow, this company of ours is strong enough to resist any incoming waves trying to hit our resistence.
can we?
will we?

 
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Posted by on 09/25/2005 in English

 

relax. rejuvenate. rehat.

i’m back, baby!

IAF was a blast, a journey of (slighly more than) one-year preparation finally paid off last saturday, 17 september 2005, a date that will not surely be forgotten among us, around-80-committee members of this show.

yet, allow me to take a step back for a while to evaluate and look back in retrospect, while indulging myself on the beautiful scent of my hometown.

i’ll be back, baby! πŸ™‚

 
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Posted by on 09/21/2005 in English

 

how to turn yourself into a zombie in 24 hours?

Saturday, August 20

13.20 – Arrived at Sekolah Indonesia Singapura (SIS) at Siglap Road, immediately sat in short informal meeting of Creative Team and Production Manager

13.30 – Lunch break

14.30 – Start rehearsal from beginning

16.00 – Still rehearsal on the first part

17.00 – Touch-up rehearsal of scenes involving numbers of people, without the actual people showed up.

17.30 – End of rehearsal, looking for some missing props.

18.15 – Urgent meeting of Creative Team + Director

19.00 – Start re-working rundown/flowchart of detailed show from Pre-Show to Closing Scene. In another words, from the very beginning to the very end.

20.00 – Pre-Show touch-up, detailing things that happen before the show starts.

21.10 – Entering discussion on the beginning of 1st Half

21.30 – Dinner break

22.30 – Still mulling over with 1st Half, run through everything inside the scenes appearing during the 1st Half.

23.30 – Stuck with stage design for 1st Half

Sunday, August 21

00.30 – Stuck at the same problem

01.30 – Received 6 missed calls from twinnie

02.30 – Done with 1st Half, finally saw the word of β€˜Intermission’ on paper

02.45 – Start working on 2nd Half

03.45 – Sailing through first scene nicely

04.45 – Touch-up on performance scene

05.45 – 70% of whole show is done

06.00 – Hailed a cab home

07.00 – Ready to sleep

10.30 – Woke up because of the nightmare about the show

11.30 – (Should be ready to be) Off to rehearsal scheduled at 1 pm again

 
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Posted by on 08/21/2005 in English

 

lil’, happy birthday :)

It truly feels like yesterday,
And definitely not 17 years ago.

When I was happily seated next to this driver,
And your sister and your late grandmother was seated behind …

Oh!

How your grandmother never put down her holy book, uttered every single prayer,
While your brother?
Let’s just say that he was too excited of getting a new companion soon πŸ™‚

It was Saturday, I remember vividly.
Just like lovebirds who always wish for sunshine throughout the day,
I opened the window and I could feel the wind of August heat.

And we stopped at a bakery,
Somehow your sis and I could convince grandma to buy dozens of bread for your mum.
Innocently, we ended up indulging in those cakes since Mum was not allowed to.

Then not even waiting for the car to park,
I rushed down to the lobby

9.30 am

Your dad was on his way to greet us
And I was asking him out loud,
β€œPa! Gimana?!”

I was only 9 years old at that time, yet believe me, that day was one of the few moments in your dad’s life where I could see sparkle in his eyes, cheerfully said:
β€œIt’s a girl”.

Fifteen minutes earlier, you had seen the world for the first time.

We rushed inside, hurried down to see your Mum.
A bright smile on her face, not even a glimpse of pain she had had to endure earlier.

And it’s you.
In a small box.
Along with others.
Yet, you responded from afar.

Grueling days of choosing one single name for you,
(remember how your elder sis insisted giving your name ‘jasmine’?)
Many tiring nights of taking care of you,
Preventing you from falling down or kept hitting the wall with your small head,

Being labeled as ‘that Japanese baby who never smile’ , or simply ‘that little Ulil’,

You remain as cute as you already are,
You remain as stubborn as you always are,
You remain as one little sister I am always proud of.

So, we may have never been living together ever since you were 6 years old.

I may have not witnessed your growing-up stages,
From one tomboy yet adorable kid,
To become a girl in her full blossom.

But I’m sure what you have become,
One who never fails to learn from her mistakes,
And one who loves her beloved ones.

A sweet greet of Happy 17th birthday indeed for you πŸ™‚

 
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Posted by on 08/19/2005 in English

 

(my) friends are …

the one who pops up unnecessary question like “Eh, pa kabar elo?” after we talk to each other for some good, healthy, chatty and insightful 30 min., and not to mention that we haven’t seen each other for some good, healthy 2 years.

the one who knows to which direction my eyes often stare to check someone out, yet claims that the person checks my friend out in return, instead of me. and of course, we can only conclude hopelessly that the intended person checks us out. both of us.

the one whom some unknown meat seller in some wet-market thinks that we are twins.

the one whose lovers i never approve of, except the last one.

the one whose opinion towards my lifestyle counts most.

the one who criticizes my writing with a big yelling of, “redundancy!”

the one whose sacrifice in being my ‘backup’ slowly gives her pain and headache.

the one who inspires me to do what i should do.

the one who keeps bickering about my taste in films, yet we always seek each other’s companion.

the one who saves my holiday trip and turns it into a journey worth taking.

the one who respects my decision.

the one who shields me from being thrown away.

the one who punches me hard with the lines like “Kenapa baru sekarang?” when i mentioned that i resign from my job.

the ones I treasure most.

the ones I can’t see my life without.

the ones I love.

you know who you are πŸ˜‰

 
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Posted by on 08/10/2005 in English

 

who’s checking?

Day 1 – Monday

INT. MEDIACORP TV THEATRE. NIGHT.

We see Nauval and Ayu seated on the corner. The taping of Anugerah 2005 was on recess. They were just staring at FAILED COMEDIANS on the stage trying to cheer audience up.
Suddenly …

AN UNKNOWN LAD IN ORANGE walked up to the stairs next to their seats, and while he was walking, he threw a look at them.

Nauval and Ayu exchanged glances.

AYU:
Elo tadi ngeliat ‘kan?

NAUVAL:
Yoi!

They laughed.

AYU:
Huhuhuhuh … Senengnya, dia check me out.

NAUVAL:
Ga banget, gue kali!

AYU:
Gue!

NAUVAL:
Gue!

AYU:
Gue!

NAUVAL:
Gue!

AYU:
Gue!

NAUVAL:
Gue!

Pause for laugh, desperately.

AYU:
Ya udah lah, check us out lho, check US out …

NAUVAL:
Hihihihihi … Boleh lah!

Day 2 – Saturday

EXT. LUCKY PLAZA. NIGHT.

We see Ayu, Messa and Nauval were about to enter the building.

MESSA:
Eh gue dah denger tuh cerita kalian. Ckckckck …

NAUVAL:
Cerita apaan?

AYU:
Huehehehehe, si Messa gue ceritain pas Senen kemaren ituuuu …

NAUVAL:
Wekekekekekeke … Yang mana nih? Si baju oranye apa yang nonton acara gratisan, pulang bawa kontestan?

AYU:
Ya semuanya lah!

NAUVAL:
Ahuhuhuhuhuhu …

MESSA:
Iya, tapi kalo dia udah check out Nauval duluan, berarti elo ga ada peluang dong.

NAUVAL:
Yoi, Mes!

AYU:
Eh ya ngga dong, enak aja.

NAUVAL:
Ya bener dong, babe. Maksudnya Messa ginih. Kalo dia check me out duluan, berarti elo ga ada peluang dong. Tapi kalo pun dia check you out, belum berarti gue ngga ada peluang, itu masih bisa.

MESSA:
Setuju!

AYU:
Kurang ajar! Market elo lebih gede dong kalo gitu? Ga bisaaaaa!

Messa and Nauval laughed.

 
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Posted by on 08/07/2005 in Bahasa Indonesia

 

… (whatever you feel like filling in there)

By any means, this posting will go down in history as (one of) the most personal entries I’ve ever written in my blog. Like I’ve never written anything personal before, you might say :), and I shall have no objection on that. But to me, my blog is one perfect medium to release the opinionated side of me when it comes to criticizing and analyzing things I indulge myself in, and by now, you know that my ultimate indulgence is films, followed by books and music. In fact, I’ve realized that I tend to write more on concerts and plays, rather than films. At least my writings that managed to get published were around plays and concerts, and shamefully I have to admit that none of my film writings ever got published. Not yet, I suppose. But I keep on writing about film though, regularly after I watch any films, or whenever I feel like it.

So you see, I’m not a good writer myself. What was initiated as something else, turn out to be, aptly, anything else. It’s really hard to keep ourselves focused with so many distractions around. The buzzing phones, the beeping sounds of messenger windows, the flashy lights of camera, the flickering images on TV, whoever should we to blame for many recent analysis on how modern human beings tend to be more having short-span attention? Or is it short-attention span?

This is the writing of someone who only manages to scan through the title of headlines in newspaper. It is some kind of privilege to be able obscuring Reuters, New York Times, Kompas, Associated Press as daily staple alongside my usual Ice Mountain Drinking Water. Yet, the number of those papers actually shows how to read thoroughly in each and every article would be an impossible feat to achieve.

Bottom line is, I know that some of you have made efforts to drop by here for the past few days. And yet, none of words actually be delivered to reply your gratitude. Or even to reply your visit.
For the sake of recap, so my twinnie came here for 3 days, and I managed to secure half-day leave from my office on those days. Then I struggled again with my work, made a day off again for another errand, and weekends from last week onwards would be dedicated wholeheartedly for IAF.
Yet the bang itself happened on Sunday morning when my beautifully shaped butt flirted with my blue mug containing hot, strong, creamy coffee which was ‘nicely’ positioned next to my iBook baby. There you go, splish splash!
The right side of keyboard was filled with golden brown of coffee, and immediately I had to rush my white baby to Apple Centre @ Orchard for quick recovery, although it is very likely that I’ve got to void its warranty. Remember baby, your daddy here has not finished paying your installment, and now some nice amount of hundreds of bucks I’ve got to pay for your bail? What a cutesy naughty white-y you! πŸ˜‰

Well, what can I say? Sunday’s nite concert of John Pizzarelli managed to shift my troubled mind, thanks to his eclectic performance, and the uninterrupted flows of DVDs will surely keep my weeknights full. After all, it is nice to be at home of yourself.

The month looks good, indeed.

 
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Posted by on 08/04/2005 in English

 

just in time …

i’m a hopeful romantic longing to seizuring every chance of possible romantic encounters only found, mostly, in romantic comedies genre.

i’m a hopeful romantic who always looks forward to a little bit of quality time in romancing the loved one.

i’m a hopeful romantic whose existence is defined by executing well-planned surprises for the object of my affection.

i’m in love, actually.

i am.

Just in time you’ve found me just in time
Before you came my time was running low
I was lost the losing dice were tossed
My bridges all were crossed nowhere to go
Now you hear now I know just where I’m going
No more doubt of fear I’ve found my way

(and julie delpy starts doing her grooves)

For love came just in time you’ve found me just in time
And changed my lonely nights that lucky day

Just in time

(so, do you think ethan hawke will stay?)

Before you came my time was running low oh baby
I was lost the losing dice were tossed
My bridges all crossed nowhere to go
Now you hear now I know just where I’m going
No more doubt of fear I’ve found my way
For love came just in time you’ve found me just in time
And changed my lonely nights and changed my lonely nights
And changed my lonely nights and changed my lonely nights
And changed my lonely nights that lucky day

(and nina simone gave her utmost)

 
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Posted by on 07/24/2005 in English