a cynical place.

10 Jul

In case any of us has been zoned out or transported to another planet for the past century or two, here’s the latest development from the planet earth:

The cities we live in have somewhat become dangerously some cynical places to breathe in.

In case any of us has not been out of our homes in the past few weeks, this is a good time to start enjoying the fresh outdoor air filled with carbon-monoxide-what-have-you. But now, the enjoyment comes with a price.

As I decided to spend the beginning of the week in my other home in a suburban area, I couldn’t help but holding on to my bag tight, and spare the rest of my fingers to “cover” my pocket. Of course, once in a while, I let some of the fingers go to check other “areas”, to make sure that no strangers would dare to grab, touch or even look at. After all, I’m in a public transportation, not a public bathhouse. Well, not even the latter place exists here.

The protection does not stop there. During the journey, one can only wish to have another set of eyes at the back of the head, to make sure that no pickpockets around. Even when they are actually not around (God knows why they’re not working today), we can’t help shaking off the thought that they might be around at any given time.

Thus, when the journey was about to end, when an automated saying of “Thank you” was uttered while we gave out coins and scrampled notes, who wouldn’t freeze to stop when a becak driver said:

“Allow me to excuse myself, bang.”?

There, the moment of awkwardness, which soon only followed with a hesitant look and reply shown with a half-hearted nod. Worse, soon we checked our bags, wallets, purses, phones, to make sure everything is still intact. Everything’s perfectly in place, and he is giving his perfect smile. A very sincere smile.

We smile back for sure, but is it also sincere? Maybe we smirk, not smile, because our minds still go to our belongings. Maybe we smile, not smirk, because inside, we laugh at ourselves for getting so cynical to the extent that we have gone past a common decency to be polite. As simple as that.

What’s not simple is, obviously, to change. And I am not in any way to judge, nor to ask any of us to change. Anyone who’s seen me in real life will perfectly be aware of my irritated and annoyed look, which somehow has become my permanent fixture, unknowingly.
See? The result of being cynical is this barrier to prevent us from being liked at. Or at least, being the one to be looked at the second time around.

Alas, the options are the options. They are there to choose.

But pardon me for being cynical again, what’s the point of choosing? It’s life, enjoy it!

Oh. Really?


Posted by on 07/10/2006 in English, Personal


5 responses to “a cynical place.

  1. 'ka

    07/10/2006 at 8:30 pm

    c’est la vie

  2. IndraPr

    07/10/2006 at 10:23 pm

    Met kenal. 🙂 Nice articles you have on your blog. Requesting your permission for me to add your blog into Planet Singapura, is it OK? 🙂

  3. Nauval!

    07/11/2006 at 2:29 am

    ‘ka,it can’t be more true than that.indrapr,by all means.

  4. IndraPr

    07/11/2006 at 9:53 am

    Added, thanks for contributing. 🙂

  5. dodY

    07/11/2006 at 1:25 pm

    aduh val…. yang dalem2 urusan hidup gini aku bingung komentar apa deh! hehehe… semoga tulisan2mu makin nendang aja yah! mumpung musim piala dunia gituh! hehehe!last weekend barusan pul ke malang! fufufufu… sayang km ga ada di situ! bnyk kejadian “seru” deh! hahaha! hope this finds you well 🙂


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