circling life

24 Dec

it was one rainy afternoon when i received a message from my dad, asking for a meet-up over tea.
he told me it was purely to discuss about his upcoming overseas trips, although i know that he meant something else.

something that had been longing to complete when i had visited my hometown earlier last week, i.e. a heart-to-heart talk between a father and his son.

having undergone some misery, i expected that the talk basically would revolve around consolation over the incident and how i needed to pull myself through. of course, my expectation was met, yet what was given to me was more than that.

far from being lectured, he stroke my mind with a thought on life and its destiny, that some kind of great creator has arranged the life as the way it is meant to be, yet we need not to be succumbed to its trap, leaving us beguiled on spoiled facilities.
because when we fall, we’ve always got backups to lean ourselves to.
the God, your parents, your siblings, your beloved one, and your friends.
those are your life support systems that you have to maintain throughout your life, and you have to nurture them well so that it grows on you.

it was on one rainy afternoon where i did not hesitant in dropping a little of my precious tears.

and as if life does circle on its own, last weekend faith seemed to find me again when miraculously i spotted haruki murakami’s “kafka on the shore” on a local bookshop, slightly cheaper than what was lost on that fateful bag.

and as if to echo my dad’s words that the greatest loss one could ever experience is when his beloved one departs from the world for good, IU has to bid an eternal goodbye to her beloved brother, right on a christmas eve that surely will leave a mark on the rest of her life.

and now, here i am, sitting in an internet cafe, thinking that i will return to my comfort zone tomorrow, meeting my housemate who sets himself more than merely being so, and finding my room in its empty state.

i guess when we have finished circling our life and everything on it, the life will make a new start on its own.


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Posted by on 12/24/2005 in English


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